My humanities teacher gave everybody in our class the chance to justify why they have a crappy grade in the class and if the reasons are good enough she just my give them a slightly better grade. Well, I am always looking for ways to get a better grade, so I decided to do this optional assignment. I thought I had some really good reasons and I think you'll agree when you read this.
Dear Sister Cochran:
Thinking back on the semester, I believe that I have done all that I could do for the Humanities 101 class, and yet I don't know if I'm getting the grade I deserve. There are many things going on in my life at the moment that I can't exactly control, causing my academic career to take the fall. This paper describes these many things that I can't control in further detail so that I can gain the well deserved pity from the teacher of the aforementioned humanities class.
Firstly, I have to make sure that my eternal salvation is taken care of, which means that I must find a husband while I am here at BYU-Idaho. The only way that I know of to gain this so called husband is to get acquainted with and date many members of the opposite sex, otherwise known as men. Now, I spent much of my free time (a.k.a. homework time) figuring out how I can get asked out on as many dates as possible. I figured out that one place to meet these men is at the gym. I, therefore, was obligated to be at the gym every night or afternoon. Not only was I finding men, but I was also toning my abs and thighs. Therefore, my time spent at the gym was necessary for my eternal salvation, which takes precedence over school work.
Secondly, I have become a professional snowflake maker. I am definitely in demand at this time of year. My career in this field is just starting out and causes my life to become very busy. I spend nearly half of my time just talking with investors and managers of scissor and paper factories. I realize that even though I am working on my eternal salvation, but if I don't get married I need something to fall back on. Hence, I have built my snowflake company from the ground up in hopes that I will be able to earn some extra bucks. I also have spent another large portion of my time coming up with a name for my company, but I finally decided upon, "Snowflakes by Becky." It took me a long time to come up with this name, which also was something that took time away from studying for certain humanities tests.
Finally, I have decided that if the snowflake business flops, I will have yet another thing to fall back on: T.V. critic. To prepare for this, I have decided that I must watch hours upon hours of television each day to get a broad spectrum of what is on television these days. I found that between watching TLC's "What Not To Wear," NBC's "ER," and The WB's "Gilmore Girls" I just simply have no time for my academic career.
As you can see, I lead a very busy life and have done the best I could with my school work and studying for Humanities 101. I hope that now you will have pity on me and allow me to have the grade which we both know that I deserve.
Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day!
Sincerely,
Becky Karlsven
There you have it, the real reasons for my grades. Do you think I am justified to receive an A?
8 comments:
Of course you deserve an "A" (although my opinion should really be disqualified due to the fact that I got a "D" the first time I took Humanities, but that might have been because I made the mistake of taking Humanities 301 instead of Humanities 101).
Oh, and I find it pleasingly ironic that you are building your snowflake business "from the ground up" while in fact snowflakes generally fall from the sky down (except when they ferociously fly past you horizontally in a real Rexburg-style blizzard). I was actually wishing for some of your snowflakes yesterday as I decorated a "fire & ice" table for the PHS Choir Holiday Dinner. I could use some tomorrow when Lindsay and her gang decorate a table for the ward holiday dinner as well. Have you ever thought of relocating?
The fact that you are able to incorporate principles of humanities (the whole dating scene, starting a very social, friendly, feel goody business like making snowflakes, etc.)outside the the classroominto your busy life, should be an indicator to the teacher that she has nothing left to teach you.
becca, it is extremely cold. My roommate keeps telling us in the morning what the temp. is. Today i think she said it was -4 degrees F. ya, i'm cold too.
I wish to remind you that I have requested to see some of your fine snowflaking work. Please be sure to bring some home for the holidays. By the way, have you seen Mr. Bently's work? You might find it inspiring...
http://snowflakebentley.com/
Be sure to check out the museum. He is so cool! (pun intended)
I want the thermometer poster! Seriously.
you'd get an A in my humanities class with that entertaining paper!
can you post pictures of your snowflake creations? we don't have much of that stuff this side of the world. They must be fascinating.
yay! no more tests! i feel happy!
Too busy for school, eh? Apparently you aren't too busy to write long letters to people who will never read them. Zing!
Oh my. I can see why you like Schuyler's blog (A Ton of Bricks). I love the humor!
So, did you get a better grade?
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